Paradise - unpaved

It’s not ALL war and food and homelessness – though there’s been a lot of all that.  We have also had a few weeks of honeymooning.  Or as much honeymooning as we could fit in between urgent, um, comfort stops.

We spent most of the first day of our honeymoon getting pissed in the lobby of the Sheraton in Nha Trang while we waited for our ride....  To Paradise Resort!  

That is the determined yet confused expression of a man
trying to suck tequila up a swizzler stick.

The car ride to Paradise Resort took 55 mins in driving time and at least 7 months of life-expectancy. 

How to summarise Paradise Resort in one sentence?  

Think of it as the bastard love-grandchild of Basil Fawlty, Hi-De-Hi, Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares and Germany’s next top model, under the management of Obelix. 

Oh, look!  It's beautiful!

 

We had beach bungalows, and swimming in the waves.  I had the topology of my right breast thoroughly surveyed by a drunk local.  The server girl, who also seemed to do all the cooking and all the cleaning and all the communication with guests was deaf – and her deafness was more useful than anything else – she was the easiest to communicate with non-Anglophone Vietnamese I have dealt with yet.  We gave her D100,000 ($5) when we left and she nearly gave birth to a chicken she was that chuffed.

Just before we left we got a sniggering shot of the fridge in the kitchen of the Paradise Resort Kitchen:

Shopping list?